College And Other Things

It’s been over 20 years since I first attended college.  When I previously attended, my situation was that I was 21 years old, I had an almost 3 year old son, and I had just lost my business, a pager shop, to the rapidly developing cell phone industry, coupled with my inability – at the time – to diagnose a simple computer issue which had affected my ability to send bills out to my customers.  I had gone from making almost $4000 a month, to nothing, in less than three months, completely forced to start over.

When I first started school, I did well, until suddenly I was hired at FedEx in the computer department.  I had essentially gotten the job I was attending school to obtain, within a month of starting school.  In one of the biggest mistakes of my life, I did not foresee that the first dot com bubble was about to burst, and that the growing field of IT was quickly formalizing itself, with new certifications being added constantly. A few years later, I found myself with no job, no education, and no opportunities, because, once again, advancements in technology had phased me out.

However, still being hyper motivated, and having a small child to raise, I managed to make a creative jump from the IT industry to the transportation logistics field, where I stayed until I started getting sick with a mystery illness.  By 2004, I’d been in a terrible car accident, I was physically debilitated, and getting sicker by the day, eventually ending up permanently legally disabled.

It was then that I decided to educate myself.  Someone had given me a book called, “An Incomplete Education” which was a lightly humorous take on all of the things one should have learned in college, but had probably forgotten.  Since I was disabled, I had the rest of my life to take myself from a guy with a GED fighting to survive, to a reasonably educated person, ready to take on the world, again.

And for years I poured through that book, which was set up like a college textbook, going from subject to subject, working to slowly master each area of study presented in the book.  From history, to literature, I slowly filled my brain with information, until one day I landed on the subject of physics, in particular quantum mechanics, or theoretical quantum mechanics.

It was then that I discovered by knack for visualization, that I’d always had, but wasn’t aware of my ability, much like Flat Landers, a people who lived in two dimensions who were suddenly educated about the existence of a third dimension.  Quantum mechanics requires the brain to attempt to form images of Newtonian impossibilities, like particles which spin twice to go around once, or even Erwin Shroedinger’s famous cat, which is both alive and dead at the same time.

This area of study, in particular the history of theoretical physics, the background of the scientists who pioneered the field, was when my love affair with Richard Feynman and the development of the atomic bomb started.  As I studied quantum mechanics, learning about gluons, muons, quarks, neutrinos, and charm spin particles, I also read at least a hundred books about Einstien, Feynman, Fermi, Oppenheimer, Heisenberg, and every other famed physicist.  Throughout this learning process, I found my mind becoming more and more agile, but I also started to understand that the more I learned, the less I really knew about the world.

After so many years, I started working on my own theoretical thought experiment, based on the Golden ratio, and a vessel approaching the final stages of the approaching speed of light, eventually working with a scientist at the Great Lakes Science Center, whose name escapes me at this point, on an experiment which would allow a human being to theoretically view the Milky Way Galaxy with the naked eye, if Einstein were to be taken seriously, and an object gained size, along with mass, as it approached 186,000 miles per second.

By this time, I had equations drawn all over my walls, I had visual representations of my theory, and it seemed, to many people around me, that I had crawled down a rabbit hole of madness, simply because I had advanced to the point to where the only human beings who could understand me were quantum physicists.

One of the humorous results of my studies was that my son came home from school, one day, upset, because he had missed a question on his science test, which read, “Light is a wave: True or False.”  Because I had taught my son about the dual slit experiment, which demonstrates that light is both a particle and a wave, he’d basically ended up with Shroedinger’s test question, which was technically true and false at the same time.  I ended up having to go to the school to speak to his teacher, who had also been my teacher, to explain why he had answered the way he did.

She got a laugh out of the situation, because she was now experiencing the same issues with my son, that she had experienced with me, vicariously through my child.  Eventually, his grade was changed to a 110%, with the caveat that from that day forward, he had to work at the level she was teaching, and not bring college level quantum mechanics into fourth grade science class.  I remember my son saying, “This is bullshit, Dad.”  I explained, “Sometimes you have to sink to the level of the world, in order to get along peacefully with it.”

Of course, this bubble of learning and development I’d gone through abruptly ended when I met my daughter’s mother, my life was sucked under, derailed, taken in another direction entirely, eventually landing me in jail.  But I’m even thankful for jail, because at some point, someone handed me a college level book about grammar and writing, which I studied for the entire seven months I was there.

A few years later, when I started pulling myself out of this alternate reality I’d fallen into, after meeting my ex, was when that guy Ross came along, and started trying to destroy my life, dragging things from my past, into my present, just to cyber bully me.  And because of him, and several other people, it took me another seven years to get myself back to where I stand today, preparing to go to college.

Today, college will not be hard for me, because unlike the first time, I have no child to raise, on a day to day basis, I can pay for school in cash, I’m hyper motivated to get back to my education, and I finally understand that value of that education, and why I need it.  My plan, thus far, is to major in journalism and minor in environmental science, with the end result of making me a double threat, on the subject of toxic waste, becoming certified to test ground water, but also becoming additionally certified to write about the subject with the authority of a journalist.

But who triggered my desire to become a journalist?  None other than Diane Dimond, Roger Bianchini, and Joe Pagonakis, a cult of false news, three people who act as journalists but have no formal training in journalism, people who are the archetypes of everything that is wrong with today’s media.  I want to be different than them, and I already am, because I want to publish facts, not “constitutionally protected opinions” filled with lies.

Due to my circumstances, I have had to scour the country looking for a school of journalism that is willing to accommodate me, and the insane false media situation I am living in.  In the last few days, I’ve managed to locate a few schools that are willing to make sure that I am safe from this group of false news artists pursuing me.  Now, all I have to do is study for entrance tests, take them, get enrolled and I will be ready to attend either the fall semester or the winter semester of the next school year, though I may have to wait a year to quality for in state tuition.

I’m excited for the future, but I am most excited that in spite of everything I have endured, I have finally got my life back on track, to where I was in 2007.  It only took eleven years, but it’s time to learn.

Matt

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